September 28, 1970

Just wanted to take a moment to wish my Crae Baby a Happy Birthday.....love you & I hope to share many more with you! Was kinda hoping to have a girly gift for you, but alas she did not agree! LOL *smooches*

I skeered

It's down to the wire.........within the next week I will be having my baby!! Due to the gestational diabetes, my doc won't let me go beyond 40 weeks.......I find out tomorrow a cutoff/induction date (most likely next Friday Oct 3rd), that if Baby B is not here on her own, he'll make her get here......to tell the truth I feel she won't make it till then, but then again knowing the trouble she's put me through this whole time, it'd be like her to be stubborn LOL Soooooo, I skeered......very skeered......panicked actually!

Update on Ultrasound

I ended up having something to worry about for sure! I didn't realize it was a biophysical profile (BPP), I just thought they were checking her size (which is measuring right on for due date so no amazon woman, yay!). I also didn't realize (b/c it was a BPP) that she was being scored on certain things like amount of amnio fluid, muscle tone, movement, practicing breathing, etc. Well, out of a possible 8, she got a 6....because her muscle tone didn't seem to be up to par....which could have been due to one of her arms being pinned behind her back =( She wasn't flexing her hand as she should,which could have been due to the arm being asleep or due to it having a problem with it =( She also wasn't practicing her breathing as much as they'd like to see, but I honestly think she was just asleep b/c her heartbeat was in the 130's as it tends to be when she's quiet/asleep. Anyhoo, due to the lack of muscle tone/less than desired practice breathing, the doc sent me to the hospital for a contraction stress test....in which I was given pitocin to cause contractions, to see how well she handled them....if her heartbeat repeatedly decelerated immediately after a contraction it would mean she was not handling them well & if she did not pass this test she was going to be born by c-section yesterday!!!! Talk about freaking out!!!!! BUT......as always being B's style, she woke right up over there & they actually had to wait for her to quit moving to start the pitocin, so the monitors could read things right!!!!! Needless to say, she passed the test with flying colors & I got to come back home to let her bake for a bit longer.....praise Jesus! I hope she is nowhere near as naughty out of the womb as she's been in there.....I am def. in for it if she is!!! Whew!

I am very thankful B didn't have to come yesterday, and that the test went so well. I am also very thankful to have a doctor willing to be so proactive & keep my baby's best interests at heart, and err on the side of caution in a "what if" situation rather than taking a "wait & see" approach. I have to admit I'm also thankful the contractions stopped (eventually!) b/c this little scare made me realize just how unprepared I feel for B's coming. I hope it also makes Jerry realize we're so not close to being ready & a fire gets lit under his butt too! I really don't think she is going to wait till October to come, and the doc admitted yesterday that if this test jump started "for real" labor, that it wouldn't be stopped!

So, all in all I feel this will be a tumultuous 3-4 weeks......oh boy!

A Little Nervous

Tomorrow I go for an u/s to check on Baby B's size & whatnot, due to the gestational diabetes. My doc has said I've been measuring right on this whole time, but I am sure due to my already fatness it might've been hard to calculate that accurately, so I def. don't blame him if it ends up being way off. First and foremost I pray B is still nice & healthy, of course, but I'm also scared that 1)she'll be huge & not look like a newborn b/c of that, and 2)there will be a growth of the penile kind that wasn't there when I had my 18 week scan.....don't get me wrong, I'll deal with whatever comes of things, but I have to admit I'd be disappointed with either being the case....I just want my baby to come looking like a newborn not a 2 month old & I want her to be a she not find out at 36 weeks that she turned into a he....I know I am not the first person to think these things to themselves, so if anyone has anything ugly to say, keep it to yourself : Especially since the big baby thing could cause actual complications, such as having to be induced when I really don't want that &/or having to have a c-section b/c I can't get her out vaginally, which again I really don't want......so.....I guess just wish me luck, please!