I Lied....HAHA!

Just in case you don't see the wonderful widget to the right.....I AM PREGNANT!!!!!!! God is GREAT!!!!! I have thanked Him over and over and OVER again for giving us this blessing. I should be due around October 11th, how grand! AND not only am I pregnant, but so are 2 of my friends! They are due before me though, some time in September I think. This is so exciting!! Thank You God for your Almighty Graciousness!!

This is all I'm gonna say....

YAY!!!!!

A Few Thoughts....

First & foremost.....dang it's COLD!! This little jot down will be short, as I am soooooooooo ready to climb into my bed in an attempt to get toasty warm.....maybe my hubby's back hair will finally be of some good use ;) Heeee heeeheeeee! I know, I know way TMI :P Tonight would def. be a good time to read in bed, something I have not done in a while & actually miss. Hmmmm....

Just wanted to say the countdown is on....in about, ohhhh, 4 more days I'll be able to start testing *YAY!!!* I hope & pray with all my hopes & prayers that I'll get a beautiful 2 lined test here shortly....c'mon God....PLEASE!?!?!?!

Lastly, it has been real nice having hubby off work for several days, and my son out of school Monday & today. There was alot to do in/around the house & it certainly helped to have several days in a row to get things done. We're getting there, finally, thank God! Only a year & a half after moving in here, heh!

Oh My Goodness The Weather!

Just call me a weather predictor....not a meteorologist mind you, a weather predictor. Without fail, it always either snows or sleets or we get at least freezing rain right around Garrett's birthday every year....it could be in the 70's one day and the next the world is freezing over! Funny how that happens, but once again this year I was right ;) Several people thought surely not this year seeing as it's been so warm lately, but as I type this, a very pretty snowfall is occurring outside! Although it is supposed to melt away tomorrow it's been very pleasant to look at. I do not like the cold....to tell the truth I loathe it....but looking at the snow from within the walls of my toasty living room is quite alright by me! Sharing this time with my hubby is quite alright by me too, hee hee! Who knows what this wintry weather might bring? ;)

Some Thoughts for Today....

1) My hair has gotten so long already, although unfortunately it's not going to grow much more....never has & probably never will, which sucks

2) I hate the color of my hair.....wanted it jet black & that's what it was dyed as.....did it stay that way? NO! *sigh*

3) I wish Jerry was home from work already....hated he had to go in to begin with

4) I am so thrilled, yet so shocked that Gabe just literally overnight decided he was potty trained, and is! This, after months on end of trying to get him to get "with the program", is just truly amazing & a Godsend.

5) I can't believe Garrett is going to be in Middle School next year....my baby is growing up too fast! Sometimes that makes me want to cry, for real yo.

6) I am grateful God listens, even if I am not praying per se....it seems sometimes things just come to me although I've not "asked" for them, such as when I was wanting some OPK's for TTC this month, but did not have the $ to get them in time for testing....well next thing I know I got some unexpected $ & was able to order them....God is good....hopefully He'll be real good & give me a baby to go along with the blessing of OPK's ;o)

7) I really need to try to go to bed earlier, considering Gabe is still not one to sleep late, even if he goes to bed late....I am sooooo sleepy but have so much to do today :( Maybe this is why I hate that Jerry had to work today, hehehe.

8) I wish I could win the lotto, although I don't play....either that or someone would just randomly give me a huge sum of dough....this not having any $ thing really stinks because there's so much I'd like to do to this house/land.

9) I really don't feel like taking Garrett to Scouts tonight....I know I have to, and I know it'll be good to get out of the house for a bit, I just don't like the "getting ready to go & getting the boys ready to go" part of it, heh.

10) I so should get my elliptical & work my very fat butt off, but don't wanna....I loathe exercising with a passion....maybe Jerry & I should go on "The Biggest Loser: Couples"....but then he'd probably be the one to lose 50 lbs & I'd be the one to gain weight! (& then I'd have to severely hurt him LOL)

Okay.....my brain hurts right now, so for now this has to end. Toodleloo.

So, This is what blogging is all about....

I saw some friends of mine had blogs, so thought why not do one myself? I like to write, and often have things on my mind, so I do suppose this might end up a nifty thing to do. Yes, I am a dork who uses words like "nifty"....so what? Hehehe. I doubt anyone would get enjoyment out of my blog but me anyways, but feel free to read nonetheless. SO, what to talk about? Hmmmmm, how about one of my biggest wishes (or should I say obsessions) at the moment....and that is to bring another little sweet spirit into my family. It has been a huge heartbreaking struggle, to say the least....as it's been 2 years since we started trying, and I still have no babe in my arms *sigh* Thought we had it made when I fell pregnant last March (after 14 months of trying at that time!), and boy were we ecstatic!! I had some reservations though, my gut instincts kept telling me something was wrong....I never got sick, I wasn't hormonally "extreme", I had no real signs of being pregnant aside from a positive test and seeing my babe early on on an ultrasound...quite frankly I felt pretty darn good! On the one hand I felt maybe this would just be a fantastic pregnancy, but on the other hand I just couldn't shake the feeling something would go wrong. Unfortunately my fear came to fruition when I went to the doctor at 17 weeks 4 days and no heartbeat was detected. I found my babe had stopped growing around 13 weeks and had perished. Quickly my world came crashing down on me in one huge swoop. I know supposedly I will be reunited with my babe in the afterlife, but (and you can call me selfish all you want) I wanted my baby here on Earth....I wanted to raise him or her here, not have to wait what seems like a million years....I wanted my baby WITH ME not WAITING ON ME!!! I still 6 months later want my baby with me, not waiting on me....especially since we have yet to get pregnant again. We have been trying and trying and trying....I just don't understand why God is punishing me so....what have I done so wrong to be denied this one precious thing? This I ponder daily (or should I say nightly, as most nights sleep does not come easily) I have prayed and prayed and prayed till I just don't think I can pray anymore, and the answer has yet to come....

Anyhoo, I could ramble on forever as there's so much more to be said about it, but perhaps I should save it for later. I'd be here all night otherwise (possibly longer, heh)....

I do look forward to a better time in 2008....lots of changes comin' round....lots of changes....

Please God let there be a baby in the mix somewhere *please*