Yay For Me!

My quest to lose weight has not been going as well as I had planned, BUT I did get a very pleasant surprise the other day....I had a bag of clothes intended for goodwill, that Jerry was supposed to haul off months ago but never got around to it....in this bag of clothes was a shirt & a pair of jeans I thought I'd never be able to get into again....well, I knew the shirt would fit me now just b/c of the size, but I thought I'd still have quite a ways to go before I could fit into the jeans b/c they're 2 sizes smaller than I had been wearing....I tried them on the other night just to see how much I'd have to lose before I could wear them, and lo & behold they fit!!! Not only did they fit, but they're not tight on me at all!!! I was praising the Lord for that awesome blessing, as it took me completely by surprise & was quite the ego booster needed at the time....it's still hard for me to believe, many days later!! It has restored some hope for me, and I pray I can continue to lose lose lose!!

So I Finally Got It on Camera!

Brinley has been smiling for me for a bit now, but every time I'd pick up my camera she'd look at it like "what you talkin' 'bout Willis"....I STILL have not gotten her full out "big grin" captured, and these were taken w/my cell phone so they're not great quality, but they'll have to do for now....

and here is one, just because she's cute ;)

It's hard to believe she's already coming up on 10 weeks old! OH, and on a side note, she finally got to meet her future boyfriend today =) She got to sit beside Mr. Cayden during Relief Society & he was already making googoo eyes at her & she at him LOL We'll have to see if she does the same when we visit Mr. Gregory in a few weeks....there might be a lil competition going on, who knows! Hee hee!

Let's Say Thanks!

As a wife of a veteran & family member to many more, I ask please join me in saying thanks to our wonderful military members!

4 X 4

I got tagged by Christa for this 4th pic of 4th folder thingy, so here goes....


This is Brinley's 1st cloth pic, where I just tried it on her to see the fit....she did not keep it on long, as prefolds & B do not mix well, & we have since moved to better, more "stay-dry" (as in wicks away moisture better therefore making baby more comfy) things (YAY for Bagshot Row bamboo fitteds YAY for bumGenius YAY for Happy Heineys!!) Just as a bonus, I will also add an updated pic of her in a BSRB (although you can't see it LOL) & a Thirsties cover =)


I don't tag anyone 'cause I have no one to tag ;) Unless someone randomly comes across my blog & feels like doing it =)

Pics of Babygirl

Here's my lovely sweet babygirl =)

Just after getting her pics made at the hossy

Sucking her fingers

Brinley says howdy!

You want a piece of me?!?!?

Mommy and Babygirl


More to come as they make it from camera to computer....

Brinley is here!!

Brinley was born Tuesday, Sept 30th, at 1154pm....she was 7lbs 10oz & 20.5 inches long....has dark hair & (so far) blue eyes....the boys absolutely adore her & so do we ;) I labored for 3-3.5 hours total from beginning contraction to birth (!!!!!!!), which was a blessing & a curse all in one, but I am just very happy she is here! She is a beautiful little princess (of course I am biased ;) ), and I'll post some pics once things are not so hectic around the house. Like her onesie says.....Brinley was definitely "worth the wait"!

September 28, 1970

Just wanted to take a moment to wish my Crae Baby a Happy Birthday.....love you & I hope to share many more with you! Was kinda hoping to have a girly gift for you, but alas she did not agree! LOL *smooches*

I skeered

It's down to the wire.........within the next week I will be having my baby!! Due to the gestational diabetes, my doc won't let me go beyond 40 weeks.......I find out tomorrow a cutoff/induction date (most likely next Friday Oct 3rd), that if Baby B is not here on her own, he'll make her get here......to tell the truth I feel she won't make it till then, but then again knowing the trouble she's put me through this whole time, it'd be like her to be stubborn LOL Soooooo, I skeered......very skeered......panicked actually!

Update on Ultrasound

I ended up having something to worry about for sure! I didn't realize it was a biophysical profile (BPP), I just thought they were checking her size (which is measuring right on for due date so no amazon woman, yay!). I also didn't realize (b/c it was a BPP) that she was being scored on certain things like amount of amnio fluid, muscle tone, movement, practicing breathing, etc. Well, out of a possible 8, she got a 6....because her muscle tone didn't seem to be up to par....which could have been due to one of her arms being pinned behind her back =( She wasn't flexing her hand as she should,which could have been due to the arm being asleep or due to it having a problem with it =( She also wasn't practicing her breathing as much as they'd like to see, but I honestly think she was just asleep b/c her heartbeat was in the 130's as it tends to be when she's quiet/asleep. Anyhoo, due to the lack of muscle tone/less than desired practice breathing, the doc sent me to the hospital for a contraction stress test....in which I was given pitocin to cause contractions, to see how well she handled them....if her heartbeat repeatedly decelerated immediately after a contraction it would mean she was not handling them well & if she did not pass this test she was going to be born by c-section yesterday!!!! Talk about freaking out!!!!! BUT......as always being B's style, she woke right up over there & they actually had to wait for her to quit moving to start the pitocin, so the monitors could read things right!!!!! Needless to say, she passed the test with flying colors & I got to come back home to let her bake for a bit longer.....praise Jesus! I hope she is nowhere near as naughty out of the womb as she's been in there.....I am def. in for it if she is!!! Whew!

I am very thankful B didn't have to come yesterday, and that the test went so well. I am also very thankful to have a doctor willing to be so proactive & keep my baby's best interests at heart, and err on the side of caution in a "what if" situation rather than taking a "wait & see" approach. I have to admit I'm also thankful the contractions stopped (eventually!) b/c this little scare made me realize just how unprepared I feel for B's coming. I hope it also makes Jerry realize we're so not close to being ready & a fire gets lit under his butt too! I really don't think she is going to wait till October to come, and the doc admitted yesterday that if this test jump started "for real" labor, that it wouldn't be stopped!

So, all in all I feel this will be a tumultuous 3-4 weeks......oh boy!

A Little Nervous

Tomorrow I go for an u/s to check on Baby B's size & whatnot, due to the gestational diabetes. My doc has said I've been measuring right on this whole time, but I am sure due to my already fatness it might've been hard to calculate that accurately, so I def. don't blame him if it ends up being way off. First and foremost I pray B is still nice & healthy, of course, but I'm also scared that 1)she'll be huge & not look like a newborn b/c of that, and 2)there will be a growth of the penile kind that wasn't there when I had my 18 week scan.....don't get me wrong, I'll deal with whatever comes of things, but I have to admit I'd be disappointed with either being the case....I just want my baby to come looking like a newborn not a 2 month old & I want her to be a she not find out at 36 weeks that she turned into a he....I know I am not the first person to think these things to themselves, so if anyone has anything ugly to say, keep it to yourself : Especially since the big baby thing could cause actual complications, such as having to be induced when I really don't want that &/or having to have a c-section b/c I can't get her out vaginally, which again I really don't want......so.....I guess just wish me luck, please!

Spoke Too Soon Again....

Welp, I won't be accidentally running into my friend at the doc's office for sure now......seeing as she gave birth this morning! *yay!* I am so happy for her! I can't wait to see her wee one, I bet he's a little chubby fellow! Awwwww, I'm about to cry! Now that she's had her baby, it's really setting in that it's almost MY turn! (N.N) I am 2 weeks away from being considered full term & SO not ready! God help me not to panic PLEASE! (N.N)

Spoke Too Soon *Sigh*

Well, the "what do I do with myself" question was answered a couple of days ago.....turns out I have to have 2 NST's a week for the remainder of my pregnancy, due to the GD =( Sooooo, I started that this week *yay* (insert sarcasm and an eyeroll here) On a good note though, I am getting another U/S on the 10th, which I am very much looking forward to! Let's hope this princess has remained a princess & we have no penile surprises ;) And.....on a funny note, there is a lady in my ward who is due in couple of weeks, who uses the same doctor's office I do, and for the past 4 out of 5 appointments we have run into each other in the office *LOL* We have a laugh every time b/c it's not that we're setting our appointments for the same time on purpose, we've actually had no clue of one another's schedules, yet we keep running into each other! I think I am going to miss the excitement of "will I or won't I see her this time" once she gives birth, haha! Anyhoo, time for me to step away for my lovely scheduled din-din (another fine joy of having GD *boo*) TTFN!

I Think I'm Gonna Cry

Not only do we have the all-too-soon upcoming birth of Baby B, we have 2 more significant & amazing changes to our lives coming soon.....first comes next week.....the 1st day of MIDDLE school for Garrett.....we're all super excited about that, but I am very nervous as it's all VERY different from what we're used to with Elementary school 8-} THEN.....Gabe is starting PRE-K this year.....it's so hard to believe he is already old enough for school! :- I cried when Garrett started kindergarten.....now with him going to middle school, AND Gabe going to pre-k, AND the impending birth of Baby B.....I am positive there's going to be some waterworks!! Where has all the time gone & where are my wee ones?? I am sure once we get into the swing of things, it'll be great, I just can't believe they have gotten this age this quick! I am completely thrilled for them, just feeling a little overwhelmed with it all at the moment. It WILL be nice to have some time all to myself for a short bit before Baby B is born, but it'll also be kind of like a "what do I do with myself" emptiness, too.....a blessing & a curse all at once I guess ;) Maybe my nesting instincts will kick in & I can finally get this house in order.....yeah, highly doubtful, but a girl can dream *LOL*

I Am So Annoyed!!

So, the doc claims I have gestational diabetes b/c I failed my 1 hour GTT, and on my 3 hour GTT, the 1st hour was HORRIBLE (217!!).....although the 2nd hr (LOW 100-something, way less than the 130 cutoff) and the 3rd hr (67!!) were perfectly fine!! I went to the Diabetes Center yesterday to learn how to check my blood sugar & about the gest. diabetes diet. Guess what my blood levels have been so far.......75 an hour after lunch (which is low), 94 an hour after dinner (again normal low-ish), 96 upon waking (which is only 6 pts over goal), and 102 an hour after breakfast (again normal).......does this sound like gest diabetes to you?!?!? I haven't even eaten anything I wouldn't normally.....the frickin diet is not really anything different than I already eat/don't eat, the biggest diff is scheduling meals/snacks instead of eating whenever I felt like it. I REALLY hope I don't have to prick my finger 4 times a frickin day for the next 8-9 weeks! I honestly feel this is ridiculous =( I better not have to pay for any of this crap either! THAT will royally tick me off *grrrrr*

Can you tell I'm a hormonal mess? LOL

So Fast! Too Fast?

So, just when I thought this pregnancy couldn't go any slower, I woke up this morning & thought "OH MY GOD I AM IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER!!!" At first it was like YAY, but then it dawned on me "OH (blank) ONLY 13 WEEKS LEFT!!!" and I got really scared.....I know I am going to love getting to meet my little girl, and know my family is beside themselves with anticipation as well.....I am just so nervous knowing I have only 90-some odd days till she's here & I'll have to go back into "newborn" mode again.....with the sleepless nights & crazy tired days and deal with some things for the 1st time (like having a GIRL instead of boys, cloth diapering, having 2 kids in school this year, etc etc etc).....and I just feel so overwhelmed with all that still needs to be done around here and things that need to be gotten and knowing I am heading towards being even more uncomfortable than I already am and BIGGER *ugh*.....not to mention the whole labor thing altogether and wanting to go on my own & not be induced like the others......I know I know, praying would surely help out I know....it's just some people not too long ago mentioned the time where panic just sets in for a pregnant woman, and I think that time has officially hit for me!! God help me PLEASE.....I could use some solace right about now {8'O

Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'

So, I've been feeling movement for quite some time now, but I have found something that'll really get baby B going, and that's watermelon! I ate some a few days ago & boy did she go! It actually shocked me because she went from quiet to rollin' rollin' rollin' in a matter of minutes! It was so surprising I shouted out "what are you doing???", in turn scaring Jerry haha! At least I now know what to eat when it gets to the "kick count" stage of things, if B gets too quiet in there ;)

So We Had an Ultrasound Today and.....

We're !!!!!
We are sooooooooooooo excited!! I can't believe we are FINALLY getting our girl!! YAY!!!!! The boys are happy about it too, which in turn makes me happy. They are going to make awesome big brothers! Gabe has been playing like he's having a baby too and looooooooooves real babies.....and Garrett was wonderful when Gabe was born, so so helpful! He even wants to be there when this one is born....we'll see about that LOL

To tell the truth I had been buying a couple of things "just in case" this was a girl *shhhhhh* haha, but our first "official" purchase for her was a pink onsie yesterday with "Daddy's Girl" on the front of it. I thought Jerry was going to cry when I said we should get that *awwwwww* =)

Heartbeat at Home!

FINALLY, we got to hear the heartbeat at home on my doppler! What a sweet sweet sound! I feel alot of relief in knowing I can find it at home now, since it was between 13 weeks & 17 weeks that I lost my last babe. I won't check it every day, seeing as babies actually don't like the doppler, maybe 1-2 times/week will do. OH, and I felt a tiny little flutter when I was listening last night.....that was way cool! You can hear when it happens on the doppler too, like a little "thump" on a mic. I am so excited now, as this baby appears like s/he will be a-okay!

A Pic of the Baby

Finally got a pic of the baby on here, enjoy! =) S/he was waving to us!

Double Whew!

I had an ultrasound done today, and found out I am actually 12w4d instead of 11w6d, so I am that much closer to the 2nd tri than first thought! (Which of course makes me very happy!) All looked good according to the sonographer, and my doc agreed. The heart was beating away @ 164bpm, and we got to hear it, which was awesome! Baby waved at us a few times too =) Hee hee!

We stopped by the cemetery to say hey to Mamaw, seeing as today is/would have been her 86th birthday. We got her a nice red rose. Told her to take good care of our wee one that's waiting for us. It was a pretty pleasant visit, even though of course it would have been better if she was still here on Earth. I miss her alot! I know she's looking out for me though, which is a great feeling.

All in all I think today was a wonderful day for me to have the great doc appt/US I got =)

OH, it's also the 5 anniversary of Jerry's & my 1st date.....so I guess it was triple the goodness today, eh? He he!

Whew!

So, we had the homestudy today for Garrett's adoption.....or should I say "what homestudy? more like a chit chat for all of 20 minutes!" WHEW! What a relief that's over! The social worker said more than likely everything should be finalized by the end of April (woohoo!), although the timeline for getting his new birth certificate is running 6-9 months. But, according to her, we only need to show the court decree of adoption to change his name on records till then. Hope that is the case because he's been waiting too long now to officially become a "Williams". I am so excited that the homestudy (or lack thereof) went so well....I was so scared over nothing! *LOL*

Temple here we come!!! YAY!!!

Oh My Goodness

I have not written anything in FOREVER! Not that I've not had alot to think about, and not that I haven't been online, I guess it's just been a lack of desire? I don't like to write unless I have the opportunity to be "alone" with my thoughts, KWIM? And these days it doesn't seem I have much opportunity to be alone, with everything & everyone in my house being the way it is/they are. And to think, we're adding to the chaos in October! But this will be a welcome & long-awaited addition, of which I am not regretful one iota, so please don't miscontrue my feelings.

Anyhoo, much has gone on since my last post....most importantly, I had my 1st ultrasound a few weeks ago....baby measured right on with my self-calculated duedate of Oct 11th, and had a nice little heartbeat just going to town. I have another in a few weeks, March 28th....which is a terrific day for that, seeing as it's my Mamaw's birthday (the one that passed in Oct last year), and it's also the anniversary of Jerry's and my 1st date! I pray all will be well and we'll get a sneak peek of the "goodies" enough to take a wild guess ;)

We've been mulling over names for a while now.....this has been so difficult b/c there's so many I like and it has always been hard for me to narrow things down to something we'd absolutely adore forever. It's hard enough when I name a pet, THAT can take me days & sometimes weeks....and I have to think about the animal's personality in all of it. How am I going to name my BABY?!?!? EEK! I know it'll happen and I know I have plenty of time, it just worries me just the same.....sigh. I guess it helps that Jerry hasn't veto'd much of what I have suggested. It's nice to be on somewhat of the same "plane" in that aspect.

I guess my number 1 worry right now, aside from all things baby, is Garrett's adoption. It has taken much too long to get things all squared away. Between the stupid lawyer last summer to the stupid homevisit with DSS, it has been a huge pain in the tooshie! We shouldn't have even had to do a frickin' homevisit, since Garrett has lived with Jerry in a parental role since 2003, but the stupid clerk of court rarely gives out waivers from what I found out *grrrrrrrrr* I don't know why the heck not, but that just tees me off =( SOOOOOOO, now we have to wait till the end of the month for the social worker to come out to nose into our business & our home & ask a million questions on whether Garrett wants to be adopted or not & if Jerry wants this or not(DUH, why would we pay so much frickin $$$$$ if they didn't want this?!?!?!?!?!?) and to file her little report.....then wait some more for everything to be called final.....then wait some more to get Garrett's new birth certificate.....I was promised this adoption wouldn't take more than 6 months to complete, but it's now going on a frickin year and probably will end up taking 18 months total!! It will be worth it in the end though, seeing as then we'll get to be united for all time & eternity as a family, when we can finally go to the temple. I have been praying hard for this, and hope you too will pray for us.

Well, it seems my little bit of "me" time has come to an end....I'll try not to take so long to write again but won't promise anything ;) Till then, a fond adieu!

Something I Just Realized

I knew we conceived around the anniversary of my MIL's passing, but it also turns out I am due around the anniversary of my Mamaw's passing. Funny how things turn out that way....makes me feel I have 2 wonderful ladies looking out for this wee one & perhaps they had a hand in bringing her/him to us. Which is a good feeling to have.

I also want to reiterate how God listens to & answers prayers....I can surely attest to that! Look at how this blog started out, for instance. I got myself in gear and read some scriptures....just let them open up where they may & read....interestingly each time all mentioned having faith in Heavenly Father, & if a prayer was asked in faith & if you maintain that faith, that He will provide what you earnestly desire.

I am so very grateful that Heavenly Father has allowed us this opportunity again, and that He has provided what we earnestly desired. I feel so overwhelmingly loved and am so excited for this journey. Thank you God for this mighty blessing & for all your wonderful blessings!

A Not So Fun Part of Pregnancy

So, I am sick. Not sick like morning sickness sick, sick like cold/allergies sick....in other words, I feel like poop. The worst part about it is, I CAN'T TAKE ANYTHING!!! Until I am 12 weeks, no cold medicine is safe, according to my ob/gyn. I can ease my distress with benedryl, or I can use vicks vapor rub, and I can take tylenol.....none of which would really work worth a hoot. Oh baby, the things your mother has to go through already for you! Hehe (and of course I'd rather have you and deal with the cold, than to not have you....it's just why couldn't I have had this cold a few weeks ago before you came along? *wink*) Anyhoo, off to lay down & try not to sweat to death. Love you baby!

I Lied....HAHA!

Just in case you don't see the wonderful widget to the right.....I AM PREGNANT!!!!!!! God is GREAT!!!!! I have thanked Him over and over and OVER again for giving us this blessing. I should be due around October 11th, how grand! AND not only am I pregnant, but so are 2 of my friends! They are due before me though, some time in September I think. This is so exciting!! Thank You God for your Almighty Graciousness!!

This is all I'm gonna say....

YAY!!!!!

A Few Thoughts....

First & foremost.....dang it's COLD!! This little jot down will be short, as I am soooooooooo ready to climb into my bed in an attempt to get toasty warm.....maybe my hubby's back hair will finally be of some good use ;) Heeee heeeheeeee! I know, I know way TMI :P Tonight would def. be a good time to read in bed, something I have not done in a while & actually miss. Hmmmm....

Just wanted to say the countdown is on....in about, ohhhh, 4 more days I'll be able to start testing *YAY!!!* I hope & pray with all my hopes & prayers that I'll get a beautiful 2 lined test here shortly....c'mon God....PLEASE!?!?!?!

Lastly, it has been real nice having hubby off work for several days, and my son out of school Monday & today. There was alot to do in/around the house & it certainly helped to have several days in a row to get things done. We're getting there, finally, thank God! Only a year & a half after moving in here, heh!

Oh My Goodness The Weather!

Just call me a weather predictor....not a meteorologist mind you, a weather predictor. Without fail, it always either snows or sleets or we get at least freezing rain right around Garrett's birthday every year....it could be in the 70's one day and the next the world is freezing over! Funny how that happens, but once again this year I was right ;) Several people thought surely not this year seeing as it's been so warm lately, but as I type this, a very pretty snowfall is occurring outside! Although it is supposed to melt away tomorrow it's been very pleasant to look at. I do not like the cold....to tell the truth I loathe it....but looking at the snow from within the walls of my toasty living room is quite alright by me! Sharing this time with my hubby is quite alright by me too, hee hee! Who knows what this wintry weather might bring? ;)

Some Thoughts for Today....

1) My hair has gotten so long already, although unfortunately it's not going to grow much more....never has & probably never will, which sucks

2) I hate the color of my hair.....wanted it jet black & that's what it was dyed as.....did it stay that way? NO! *sigh*

3) I wish Jerry was home from work already....hated he had to go in to begin with

4) I am so thrilled, yet so shocked that Gabe just literally overnight decided he was potty trained, and is! This, after months on end of trying to get him to get "with the program", is just truly amazing & a Godsend.

5) I can't believe Garrett is going to be in Middle School next year....my baby is growing up too fast! Sometimes that makes me want to cry, for real yo.

6) I am grateful God listens, even if I am not praying per se....it seems sometimes things just come to me although I've not "asked" for them, such as when I was wanting some OPK's for TTC this month, but did not have the $ to get them in time for testing....well next thing I know I got some unexpected $ & was able to order them....God is good....hopefully He'll be real good & give me a baby to go along with the blessing of OPK's ;o)

7) I really need to try to go to bed earlier, considering Gabe is still not one to sleep late, even if he goes to bed late....I am sooooo sleepy but have so much to do today :( Maybe this is why I hate that Jerry had to work today, hehehe.

8) I wish I could win the lotto, although I don't play....either that or someone would just randomly give me a huge sum of dough....this not having any $ thing really stinks because there's so much I'd like to do to this house/land.

9) I really don't feel like taking Garrett to Scouts tonight....I know I have to, and I know it'll be good to get out of the house for a bit, I just don't like the "getting ready to go & getting the boys ready to go" part of it, heh.

10) I so should get my elliptical & work my very fat butt off, but don't wanna....I loathe exercising with a passion....maybe Jerry & I should go on "The Biggest Loser: Couples"....but then he'd probably be the one to lose 50 lbs & I'd be the one to gain weight! (& then I'd have to severely hurt him LOL)

Okay.....my brain hurts right now, so for now this has to end. Toodleloo.

So, This is what blogging is all about....

I saw some friends of mine had blogs, so thought why not do one myself? I like to write, and often have things on my mind, so I do suppose this might end up a nifty thing to do. Yes, I am a dork who uses words like "nifty"....so what? Hehehe. I doubt anyone would get enjoyment out of my blog but me anyways, but feel free to read nonetheless. SO, what to talk about? Hmmmmm, how about one of my biggest wishes (or should I say obsessions) at the moment....and that is to bring another little sweet spirit into my family. It has been a huge heartbreaking struggle, to say the least....as it's been 2 years since we started trying, and I still have no babe in my arms *sigh* Thought we had it made when I fell pregnant last March (after 14 months of trying at that time!), and boy were we ecstatic!! I had some reservations though, my gut instincts kept telling me something was wrong....I never got sick, I wasn't hormonally "extreme", I had no real signs of being pregnant aside from a positive test and seeing my babe early on on an ultrasound...quite frankly I felt pretty darn good! On the one hand I felt maybe this would just be a fantastic pregnancy, but on the other hand I just couldn't shake the feeling something would go wrong. Unfortunately my fear came to fruition when I went to the doctor at 17 weeks 4 days and no heartbeat was detected. I found my babe had stopped growing around 13 weeks and had perished. Quickly my world came crashing down on me in one huge swoop. I know supposedly I will be reunited with my babe in the afterlife, but (and you can call me selfish all you want) I wanted my baby here on Earth....I wanted to raise him or her here, not have to wait what seems like a million years....I wanted my baby WITH ME not WAITING ON ME!!! I still 6 months later want my baby with me, not waiting on me....especially since we have yet to get pregnant again. We have been trying and trying and trying....I just don't understand why God is punishing me so....what have I done so wrong to be denied this one precious thing? This I ponder daily (or should I say nightly, as most nights sleep does not come easily) I have prayed and prayed and prayed till I just don't think I can pray anymore, and the answer has yet to come....

Anyhoo, I could ramble on forever as there's so much more to be said about it, but perhaps I should save it for later. I'd be here all night otherwise (possibly longer, heh)....

I do look forward to a better time in 2008....lots of changes comin' round....lots of changes....

Please God let there be a baby in the mix somewhere *please*